


a sensible adult discussion about sex

by fascinationex



Series: bleach works [2]
Category: Bleach
Genre: ...Maybe cock worship?, Crack, M/M, Nnoitra please, No Sex, Size Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2017-09-06
Packaged: 2018-12-24 11:34:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12011865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fascinationex/pseuds/fascinationex
Summary: Nnoitra, it turns out, is the kind of hollow who looks at a twelve foot musclebound boar monster and thinks:I’m gonna ride that into the sunset.(There’s no sun in Hueco Mundo so, metaphorically speaking, that’s a long,longride.)





	a sensible adult discussion about sex

**Author's Note:**

> TFW you wanna write the filthy monster size kink porn but it comes out as x-rated comedy instead

Nnoitra can be so fixated on violence that he misses things sometimes. That’s the only reason he doesn’t actually think about it the first three or four times he sees Tesla’s released form. He has kind of a one-track mind (which Tesla likes to call ‘great dedication’) and he’s mostly thinking with his blade – not his cock. If he thinks about it he probably could kill someone with his cock but it seems comparatively less efficient and a little dumb.

…and then, just once, he turns and looks at Tesla standing huge and terrible, looming above the remains of six or seven adjuchas slowly disintegrating into reishi and…

And Nnoitra, it turns out, is the kind of hollow who looks at a twelve foot musclebound boar monster and thinks: _I’m gonna ride that into the sunset._

(There’s no sun in Hueco Mundo so, metaphorically speaking, that’s a long, _long_ ride.)

He’s not shy about it.

Nnoitra _can_ be patient if he has to – he can wait days, silent, unmoving, perched on a rock in the middle of nowhere desert, waiting for something with big enough reiatsu to be worth killing to approach – but if he doesn’t have to be patient, waiting just pisses him off. There’s no magical virtue in patience for its own sake.

“Tesla,” he starts immediately, and kicks Tesla in the ankle – or the, shit, the pastern or something. He doesn’t do it hard, exactly, because he’s not really trying to hurt him. But usually he’d get at least a flinch. In this form, with all his massive bestial strength, Tesla seems to register the movement more than the impact. “Hey, Tesla, when you transform your dick’s gotta be _huge_.”

Tesla makes a low, rumbling noise – mostly of confusion.

Nnoitra knows how big Tesla gets, how deep his voice goes, how he could lift Nnoitra one-handed – hell, released, Tesla could throw him around like a ragdoll, for all the good that’d do him during the oh-point-three remaining seconds of his life.

And it’s true that Tesla doesn’t talk much in his released form – his face isn’t shaped right for it, although he always tries hard to answer Nnoitra, and Nnoitra knows all this, he has been aware for what feels like ages, but –

But now he’s also paying attention. Tesla’s voice is a wordless rumble that Nnoitra feels in the ground and in the soles of his feet. It vibrates clean up his spine. He feels it and, for once, he thinks: _…Oh._

He spins on his heel so he’s properly facing him, kicking up desert sand around his boots.

“Show me,” he demands.

Tesla says something – sounds like ‘mmngrreh-hmhm,’ but the tone is clear enough that Nnoitra decides it’s his name.

He kicks him again, this time hard enough that he knows it’s felt. “Tesla!”

And… Tesla’s an obedient fraccion, and that, too, gets Nnoitra kind of hot.

Nnoitra knows intellectually that it has to be huge – even if Tesla’s cock is only half the proportionally reasonable size, it’s still going to be bigger than most Nnoitra’s seen, because the rest of Tesla is just …huge and bulky and completely ripped. Tesla’s huge, warm-furred body radiates heat in the polar night of Hueco Mundo.

His cock is usually hidden by all the thick warm fur of his released form, but when Nnoitra actually lays eyes on it, the first thing he thinks is _you’ve got to be fucking kidding me_ , followed immediately by _hell ** **yes**** I’m gonna fuck it._

It’s as big as he could have anticipated, heavy-looking even when soft, but _thick_ , too. It, like the rest of Tesla, seems very warm. He can picture, internally, what it’ll look like stiff, and then on the heels of that thought is exactly what it’ll _feel like_ , all fat and swollen and _hot_ under that velvety skin, buried inside him. 

Nnoitra’s mouth goes completely dry. He can’t take his eye off it. He can feel the flush rising to his face, burning a fierce line across his cheekbones.

It’s thicker than Nnoitra is in a lot of places. Although this should pose an extremely obvious logistical problem, it mostly just makes his guts go all hot and tight and shaky. 

Nnoitra makes a weird noise in his throat that should be really humiliating. He barely registers it. 

Tesla does, though, and half a second later his magical fucking cock has disappeared – because one of the most consistent things about Tesla is that all his placid calm flies out the window the second he thinks something might be wrong with Nnoitra.

Apparently this includes any weird noises Nnoitra makes when confronted with what might be the most perfect dick in the universe.

“… Nnoitra-sama?” Tesla’s gloved hand hovers uncertainly around Nnoitra’s shoulder. He knows better than to try to touch him. He’s not usually this close, but Nnoitra numbly notes that he puts out plenty of heat in this form, too.

“Tesla,” says Nnoitra, “your cock’s _huge_.”

At Nnoitra’s expectant pause Tesla blinks once, slowly, and says: “When I’m in resurreccion, all of my body is huge.”

“ _Yeahhhh_ ,” Nnoitra agrees, a little dreamily. There’s a short pause, like a moment of silence for Nnoitra’s brain. Then his voice changes again: “I’m going to fuck it.” He says this the same way another, less difficult person might say ‘I’m going to eat a sandwich for lunch.’

Tesla looks at him.

There is a tense pause.

“What,” says Nnoitra slowly, setting his jaw. “You’re going to tell me you don’t want to?”

“No. Of course I’d be happy to do that for you, Nnoitra-sama,” says Tesla. Nnoitra snorts. For you, huh? Yeah, he’s sure that service’ll be a real hardship on Tesla’s behalf.

But again Tesla hesitates. He can feel it in his reiatsu, even if he can’t see it on his face.

“ _What_ ,” Nnoitra demands.

“I don’t mean to contradict Nnoitra-sama,” he says, in exactly the way that means he’s going to contradict him, and Nnoitra grinds his teeth.

At least he doesn’t flinch and cringe about it. If it’s important enough to bring up, it’s important enough to risk getting his butt kicked for, and Nnoitra may as well listen. If he doesn’t like it, well. Tesla knows how to take it on the chin.

Tesla’s eyes are on him now, though, and instead of his usual worshipful placidity, they’re a little bit… nervous. “It might not be a good idea.”

What the _fuck_. Nnoitra bristles. “Are you saying you don’t think I can _take_ it?”

“I would never, sir.”

“Then what?”

“Nnoitra-sama’s hierro is the strongest, isn’t it?”

“Don’t ask questions you already know the answers to,” Nnoitra snaps.

“I apologise. But if someone’s skin is so strong, it might not,” there’s a pause, “give.”

Nnoitra frowns. How’s that a…

Oh.

_Oh._

Helplessly, he grins. It’s not a nice grin.

“Hah. Tesla… are you worried my hierro is gonna _crush_ your cock?”

His reiatsu twitches in time with the wince on his face.

**Author's Note:**

> Edit:. A couple of cool tumblr people (and me, whoops) are doing a nnoites au week. 25/09 - 01/10. [here](http://fascinationex.tumblr.com/tagged/nnoites%20au%20week) is where I'm posting about it if you wanna find out more.


End file.
